How Never to handle bad breath

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We’ve all been there. You across the corner to your cubical ready to start the day’s work if you are suddenly accosted by the familiar stench of a co-worker’s bad breath.

“Here we go again…”, you think. “Another ‘H’-filled tirade that wont ever permeate my ears because I’m too busy trying to keep it from permeating my nose.”

“So anywahhhhy,” continues your co-worker, “Hhhhank Hhhhenshhhhaaw from Hhhhuman Reshhhhourcess told me ouhhhhhr 401k plahhhhn can be an outstahhhhnding invehhhhhstment optiohhhhhn…”

Somehow, we’d like to think our forced smile and wilting eyelashes might tell the offending party that there surely is something less than stellar about the way they are sounding. Unfortunately, that’s simply wishful thinking. The problem is that no one knows they have a problem. We seem to be immune to your own stench, and unlike Willy Nelson’s muse, it’s never on our minds.

So how can you tell someone that their breathe is causing you to are having issues differentiating their head from their derriere? Sure, whether it’s someone you know and are comfortable with, you can test honesty. Still, even honesty has it’s own set of problems. Can you play it off like it is a one-time occurrence you just noticed and hope that mentioning it requires care of the situation for good? Can you sit them down and have a serious discussion which could ultimately embarrass them or make you appear to be the bad person? How will they respond to either scenario? You’d desire to be told in the event that you had bad breath, wouldn’t you? Would you feel safe being told by this person that you have bad breath? Do you really know them well enough to be discussing this example with them?

These are all important questions whose answers will vary with each unique situation. Still, there are some things it is possible to avoid saying that are universal across all situations. I have taken the liberty of listing a few of them below. Remember, honesty is a good policy, but brutal honesty is frequently unnecessary.

# 1 Gee, is that your breath or did I blow my nose right after wiping my ass?


# 2 And today here’s me with the weather: Thanks, me! Well it looks like there’s a stank front moving due east from wherever the mouth area happens to be. We’re considering a 100% potential for Halitosis throughout the rest you will ever have. https://koukuunai.zoku-sei.com/ is next followed by today�s lottery numbers. KEEP TUNED IN!

# 3 I don’t mean to be rude however your horrible breath is melting my face. To have to stand here and pay attention to you is agonizingly painful. Hey, you ever note that “Alien” movie where in fact the alien is sucking in Sigourney Weaver’s face and she just cringes as the thing is so scary and because it’s saliva is an acid that can eat through metal? It is a lot like that because despite the fact that your saliva won’t eat through metal, I’m fairly certain your mouth-stench will and that is scaring the crap outta me, my pal. Again, I don’t mean to be rude…

So you see, dear reader, one must choose carefully when approaching a subject this sensitive. Perhaps honesty is not always the best policy. Better yet, you will want to just leave an anonymous note…and a breath mint.

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